TO: All sales staff, Sofa Scratch Furniture Outlet FROM: Sir Clawson Davenport, Founder SUBJECT: Demonstrations
Dear colleagues,
It has been brought to my attention that our sales demonstrations are taking too long. A recent audit found that the average demonstration lasts one hour and fifty minutes. This is, I believe, three times as long as is required to show that a sofa is comfortable.
The current process
At present, a demonstration proceeds as follows:
- A customer asks about a sofa
- A staff member says, ‘Let me show you’
- The staff member climbs onto the sofa
- The staff member turns around three times
- The staff member falls asleep
- The customer waits, and later leaves
I accept that this method is effective. A sleeping salesperson is a powerful sign of quality. But it is not efficient. We lose approximately four customers per day.
Proposed changes
From Monday I ask that demonstrations be limited to ten minutes. This should be enough to establish the following:
- The sofa is soft
- The sofa is large
- The sofa is warm
- The staff member is comfortable
After that, please stand up. If you are unable to stand, please roll off.
Alternative approach
I suggest that staff try demonstrating by pointing. A paw can be placed on the cushion, followed by a nod. If the customer looks unconvinced, a second nod may be used. Further nodding is discouraged.
Special note on Ottoman
Ottoman, our mascot, is exempt from these rules. He is large, he is slow, and he is, to be fair, the only salesperson who has sold a sofa while asleep. He once sold a three seater without opening an eye. The customer left a note.
Closing
I trust that you will treat this memo with the seriousness it deserves. I am aware that some of you will read it on a sofa. I ask only that you read the whole thing.
With best wishes and a slight yawn,
Sir C. Davenport
PS: If the sofa you are reading this on is for sale, please make a note of the price.